Permanent
by LondonGirl101
Summary: This was it, He thought. It was just him and her now. No one to get in their way, no one to deny anything from them. He was hers, and she was his. Permanently.


**Permanent**

_Summary: This was it, He thought. It was just him and her now. No one to get in their way, no one to deny anything from them. He was hers, and she was his. Permanently. _

_Rated: T_

_Authors Note: Be forewarned! Spoilers from episode 3x13, 3x10, 3x11, and 3x05!_

* * *

Castle let out a shaky breath, his mind whirling with image after image. He didn't know what was going on... what exactly was happening to him. All he knew was that Beckett was in the hospital, in surgery.

He ran his fingers through his hair and paced. He was sure his shoes were going to wear down with the carpet underneath of him. So much had happened in the last few days. So much good, a bit of bad. He wasn't sure what to think. What to do. What to say... Was he going to see her again? Feel her? What if she was already gone? What if..?

Castle looked up, just waiting for a doctor into come in the waiting room, telling him that she was gone. That she was dead. That she hadn't made it through surgery. Castle waited. Minutes past, and no one came through the door. He sighed and started pacing again. What was wrong with him? He'd been without her for less than an hour, and he was already losing his mind.

He thought back to a few days earlier. He had been at Beckett's place. They had just finished a case, and Castle had ordered Thai food for the both of them. They sat side by side on her couch watching something. He couldn't remember what it had been. _Bones_, or _Grey's Anatomy_...? Oh well, it didn't matter. All Castle could comprehend at that moment was how close Beckett had been sitting beside him. Occasionally, their elbows brushed one another. Castle would comment on something, and Beckett would roll her eyes but never the less still smile at him.

Castle thought back to a conversation they had been having.

"So where's Josh?" Castle asked, setting down the left overs of his food on the coffee table in front of them. "On duty? Out saving the world?"

Instead of smiling and rolling her eyes, Beckett looked down and picked at her food lightly. He saw her swallow. Finally, she looked back up and answered. "Ah, I broke up with him."

Castle stared at her, eyebrow raised. "Why?"

Beckett shrugged. "I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it anymore. Broke it off..."

"I'm sorry," Castle said. And he meant it. He hated seeing her like this. She was the one who broke it off, so why wasn't she thrilled? Well, maybe not thrilled, but still... she looked down right sad.

Right as he was thinking this, Beckett set her food down too, and attempted a smile. "It doesn't matter," She said sincerely.

She changed the channel on the T.V. and _Star Wars _appeared on the screen.

Castle smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Ah! The famous _Star Wars _appears on screen! Could this night get any better?"

He saw a hint of a smile on her lips, and she leaned back onto the couch.

"Maybe it's a marathon." He added, also leaning back. He noticed again just how close they were, and was relieved when she didn't move an inch.

Castle had been right. It was a marathon. They watched four, five, and six. Talked most of the time during episode one because Castle complained at how bored he was, and at the end of episode two, Castle found himself memorized by Beckett. This only had to be because her head was on his shoulder, her fingers at the bottom of his shirt, fast asleep. Castle looked down at her and couldn't help but inhale the smell of her. Cherries... just like always. God, she was beautiful. He looked down at her lips, pink and full. He didn't have to image what she tasted like, seeing that he had kissed her only a few weeks ago. Undercover of course, but still... he _had_ kissed her and she _had_ kissed him back (with renewed vigor, he might add) and it _had_ felt real.

Castle reached his hand up, and traced the outline of her face. So soft... So beautiful...

Beckett suddenly shifted her position and her eyes fluttered open. She barely had time to register exactly _what_ position she was in before she lifted herself up to find her and Castle literally nose to nose, his hand still framing her face.

Time seemed to stop. Castle felt like he couldn't breathe. Their lips were centimeters apart, and he could feel her breath on his lips. It seemed they both leaned in... and then,

Beckett leaned back and quickly looked at the coffee table and then back at him again. "It's late," She said. "You should probably go back home, Castle."

He nodded and stood up. She followed him.

"Do you want me to help?" He asked, gesturing to their leftovers.

Beckett shook her head. "No, that's okay. I got it. Just need to throw it in the bin."

Castle nodded and before he walked through the door, he called "See you, Beckett!"

"See you,"

Castle finally sat, his whole body shaking with fear. He felt like he should be one of the patients, not the other way around. That he should be in the _actual room_, no the waiting room.

He closed his eyes, his face in his hands. Just by doing that he could see her. Her face bright, laughing, her hair curled around her face framing it perfectly... That's the way he always liked to see her. Smiling. Which he noticed she did a lot more often now than when they had first met. Of course, she had warmed up to him. A lot.

Like the time when he had told her she should 'pop one more button just in case,' she did. He knew she would _never_ have done that when they had first met. That's why it had come to such a surprise to him. He had been expecting her to just roll her eyes and just walk away, or hit him, or _something_ other than that.

Or, perhaps when they had been reading those love letters to each other, and he had told her that he loved her. Before she would have, again, rolled her eyes, blow it off, of snap a remark at him like "I know you do, Castle" very sarcastically. But, instead they had held each others gaze, saying nothing. As awkward as any moment could get.

Of course he couldn't forget that moment they had had a little over two years ago. When they had been play acting that murder in the mans apartment. He had said that they were married, that it was only pretend. Back then, she had said "Fine. If married, I wanna divorce." And then, when he had asked her to marry him with Ryan's wedding ring, she had just lifted her eyes up to him, a slight smile on her lips. Now who could compare to that?

Then, of course when they had kissed undercover, and she kissed him back. He could still feel her. Her body pressed up against his. The way his lips had captured hers. That little moan that had escaped from the back of her throat. He had memorized every single detail that he could, and he honestly couldn't stop thinking about it, even under the certain _things_ that had happened. Maybe two years ago she would've kissed him back. But, not as much. And she probably would've been disgusted afterwards. But, she hadn't seemed disgusted, and he sure as hell hoped she hadn't been.

His mind went back to the day before today in the hospital, and he smiled. At least for a moment anyway.

"Look, Castle! I'm fine! How many times do I have to repeat that?" Beckett said with exasperation in her voice.

Castle shook his head. "You don't look fine."

Beckett put a hand on her hip. "And how is fine _suppose_ to look?"

Castle shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Not like this..." He added uncertainly.

Beckett went back to drying the dishes.

Castle stood there stubbornly. "Fine. Don't tell me what's wrong."

Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Even though we are partners..."

Beckett let out a frustrated sigh, but continued to ignore him.

"And partners trust each other. They tell each other things that they tell on one else. Except maybe their pets. But, considering we both don't have pets..."

Beckett let out a little frustrated growl in the back of her throat and set the dish rag back on the counter. "_Fine_. You wanna know what's wrong. You."

"Me?"

"You." She repeated.

"Me...?"

"I think we clarified that."

Castle stuttered. "But-but what did I do?"

"Nothing!" Beckett said, hands in the air. "Absolutely nothing! And I'm sorry to say this too, but it's my fault." Beckett crossed her arms. "All my _damn_ fault."

Castle looked at her confused. "Then how is it my fault?"

"Because you're the reason that it's my fault."

"I think I loss you there."

Beckett walked up closer to him. "You wanna know why I brook up with Josh?"

Castle hurriedly tried to come up with a good answer, knowing she expected him to know _exactly_ what the answer was. "Because you wanted to?"

"BECAUSE I'M FREAKIN' IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

Silence.

"What?" Castle said not believing what he just heard.

She repeated it. "I'm in love with you."

They stared at each other, gazes locked. Breathing hard. And then Castle closed the distance between them in a hard kiss.

Beckett reached her arms up around his neck, her fingers in his hair. She opened her mouth up to him, and he gladly deepened the kiss, pushing her more into him. His hands roamed her back, his fingers touching the ends of her hair. He wrapped his tongue came into her mouth, twisting and curling with her own. A sigh escaped her mouth when he did this, and he groaned inwardly. Soon he had her pressed up against the wall, his hands traveling downward towards her ass. He lowered his mouth to her throat, and she clutched him tighter against him. His fingers found their way up under her shirt and she gasped once his hand touched her flesh. She brought his mouth back to hers, and he kissed her deeply, afraid he was going to take her right then and there on the floor if they didn't stop soon.

Much to soon, and much his regret, he broke his mouth away from hers, both of their breathing heavy. Castle pressed his forehead against hers and took in every sensation that was going through him. He bent down and kissed her again, deep and loving. Then he let go, and said the words he had been holding in for what seemed a life time.

"I love you."

Castle looked up at the clock on the wall to see it was well past midnight. Nurses had come in hours before telling him that visiting hours were over, which he ignored completely, telling them that Kate Beckett, his Kate Beckett, was in surgery and he wouldn't be leaving until he saw her. They had left him alone after that, and he hadn't left the waiting room since.

Beckett had been in a car crash. She had been driving over to his house when a truck ran a red light and crashed into her. When they had called Castle, he came as quickly as possible to only find that she was in surgery.

Castle head snapped up when he heard footsteps. Seconds later a nurse came in front of him.

"Mr. Castle?" She asked.

He immediately stood up. "Yes?"

"A Kate Beckett just asked for you."

"Then she's alright?" He asked.

The nurse nodded. "Yes, she's fine. She's up in room two-eleven."

With a quick thank you, Castle went to the elevator and to the second floor. He paced inside of it impatiently. _He had to see her._

The next thing he knew, he was at her door, walking through it to see her laying on a hospital bed. Her eyes instantly turned to relief when she saw him, and he strode over to her, finally able to take her face in his hands and kiss her deeply. She returned the kiss with renewed vigor and kissed him lightly again once he had pulled away.

"Thank God you're alright." Castle breathed, pressing his forehead against hers. "I thought I had lost you. I thought-"

Beckett silenced him, bringing her finger up to his lips. "I'm fine. Just a little sore, that's all."

"But you were in surgery-"

"And now I'm fine." Beckett said, silencing him again.

He nodded and kissed her. "I love you." He mumbled against her lips.

"I love you, too."

This was it, He thought. It was just him and her now. No one to get in their way, no one to deny anything from them. He was hers, and she was his. Permanently.

* * *

_Tell me what you think!_


End file.
